Californication

It’s 1:04am.

Putting my macbook on my lap is actually uncomfortable, mostly due to the warmth that the machine generates. So tonight I decided to put it on a pillow and lay it on my lap. It feels good. I feel like a writer – too much Californication.

I don’t do much on my laptop in bed but read blogs and surf the net, so it was a spur of the moment when I decided to do some typing…

So Jerry went outdoors to the sun and he realised that there was no going back to where he came from. It would be too late. But he didn’t care. It was all going to end anyway. “What’s the point?” he thought.

Then suddenly, a giant balloon came sailing across the sky. It was the biggest balloon he had ever seen. If the moon was really close to the earth, the balloon would be the size of it. Imagine the balls the size of that he pondered.

The bright sunlight bounced off the balloon’s yellow surface. Creating a dazzling show of happiness for Jerry. He didn’t know what to feel – happy or horny.

It didn’t matter. He was naked. And he had his hand on his wang, because standing opposite him was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his German eyes upon. She had hair that was blacker than the darkest pits of hell. Her eyes pierced through his heart as if she had a bow with a really fucken huge arrow. Weirdly enough, she actually had one that she pulled out from her magic bag. She lit the arrow.

She released the arrow and it shrieked through the air, landing on Jerry’s chest. The air quickly filled with the stench of his burning hair. Burnt pubic hair never smelt so good.

He didn’t mind the pain, for the arrow represented his burning love for wang-holding.

2 Responses to “Californication”

  1. Jimmeh Says:

    …double-ewe tee eff?

  2. halley Says:

    lmao. that’s fucken funny man.

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