An Emo post – by Johnny Le

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing with my life. And I’m unsure.

Everyday I wake up 60 minutes later then my desired wake-up time. I drag my feet into the car, spend another 60 minutes filling my head with pointless information and news from the web and bash myself in the head for being a lazy arse and not achieving my set goals. Then I whinge abit about work before I get started on it. Meetings and brainstorm sessions become a chore where I’m too lazy to think – I just wanna do nothing. I download and listen religiously to the morning radio podcasts. Merrick and Rosso are losing their form. Hamish and Andy are getting back in shape. And Kyle and Jackie O provide my daily verbal dose of pop culture.

Lunch is long, sometimes tasty most often cheap. The last half of the day begins where my mind wonders off again into web-land, often reading about people’s lives and what they’ve been up to. Most have gotten far, and good for them. I often pump up some Fergie and Justin because they are “so in” right now. These days I also wonder why my g5 is acting up. If it were a person, it’d be a tosser. For the first time, it’s having a permanent error that I can’t fix. I can’t even access my Applications folder without Finder crashing.

6.15pm rolls by where I sync my calenders before rushing home to see what Max and the clan are up to in Neighbours – the most engrossing experience of the day. And please, kick Lolly off the show already. She’s more annoying than Crazy Frog.

For the next hour or so I do nothing. I either fill my head with more pointless shit from FHM and other magazines that lie around my house. Then before I shower I do about 90 push-ups, which is the reason why my arms look just *abit* more toned. I do these sets twice a day. I should be doing three, but who’s bothered to work out in the morning?

Depending on what day it is, I either watch South Park, go see a movie or hang out with the missus. All good times.

Often I walk past my Wii and wonder why the fuck I bought it. If I was bothered I would swap it for an xbox360 but yeah, no time for games these days. The Wii was only good for Zelda. Kinda like a one night stand, all hype before the action, then fun during the action. Then after the action? Get the fuck out of here (and gather dust).

Before I brush my teeth I do another set of 90 push ups. After I get up I wonder if it’s worth doing 2-3 days a week, since the other days are “I’m too lazy” days.

As soon as I hit the bed I day dream. I day dream about the same shit every night. It’s the only thing that gets me to sleep. I imagine I’m a bad assed dude with a sword and shield, most often in the middle of a seige, or defending against one. Half the time there are dragons in the sky. The other night I was fighting against these stone/rock monsters that could only be destroyed by the light that reflected off my mirror shield.

Awesome.

8 Responses to “An Emo post – by Johnny Le”

  1. Adam Says:

    Props for speaking from the heart.

    I’m similarly losing direction with all things work. I dunno, the fire is gone. Everything is a chore, an effort, a requirement. My daily crew still keeps it fun with Jase, but outside that, I’m really fighting to not burn my whole day doing shit all.

    I’m going through a deep life-restructure I’d say. Changing sleeping hours is a bitch, but you do feel better getting up when you want. 8am some days, 9.30am other days. Go to bed earlier, it helps. What is really driving me right now is health. Hospsital for physio work a couple of days a week, and going to the gym another few times a week. These are the times I love right now. My whole week revolves around those hour or two times a day. I enjoy it, I feel I accomplish something, I can see and feel the change. Really, it’s what I live for right now. Checking in at 9.30am, the friendly staff smiles, the feeling of yes.. this has purpose.

    In just over a week it ends. Then what the fuck do I do?

    Honestly, I dont know.. we are floating.

  2. Jei Says:

    Hmm.

    I think I know where the problem is. We’re both involved in start-up businesses. I think the fact that we’re comfortable with coming-in late or what ever allows us to do so.

    The reason why you’re probably turning up in time for the physio is because of unfamiliar territory. ie. the hospital and stuff. And maybe unconciously, you don’t want to be late to let them down. How this makes you happy I’m uncertain. It might be a mix of the staff smiles and the fact that you’re achieving your 9.30am check-ins.

    Maybe it’s time for us to go work in the REAL-real world. ;)

  3. Toan Says:

    hmmm try doing something not related to design at all mate,

    find a job in retail or even open a fish and chips shop

    what would LINK Do???????????

  4. tim Says:

    don’t go emo on me johnny.

    but yeah it’s a hard one. Real world can get familiar and mundane as well. i say consciously reduce your work hours. I find I work better with less time. And also agree with Toan in experimenting with something different (not necessarily a job though). For me photography isn’t just about photography, it’s also an excuse to get off my arse and explore and try to look differently and meet new people.

    Buy some of that clay like stuff and make your own little toy/figurines in the mornings and work in the afternoon.. Sure you could find markets or stalls to sell em at, or just for your own collection.

  5. Jei Says:

    My work hours are already reduced!

    But yeah, I like the idea of doing something different in the morning/night.

    As for working in different place like a fish and chips shop, I think my secret dream job is to work at Boost Juice….

  6. halley Says:

    Dane Cook (comedian) said this in one of his acts: “No one gives a fuck if you’re sad in this world, now take your dress off and end this little tea party”. that kind of gets me off my ass. makes me think: if you want something, go and get it. no one cares if you’re not happy, you have to bring the happiness to yourself. you have to do something about it. you bring the joy to you. if you know what i mean. do something about your dilemmas. no one’s going to help you. in fact people would love to see you fail (mostly sub-consciously). i don’t mean you, but like, people like seeing others fail, even their friends. go read about someone who’s kind of down, you kind of feel better that your life is not as shit as theirs.

    hope that helps you get off your feet and do something about what ever life throws at you.

  7. Jei Says:

    …go read about someone who’s kind of down, you kind of feel better that your life is not as shit as theirs.

    LMAO

  8. The Phoreal Show » Blog Archive » Bye Says:

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