So, Nintendo had its keynote speech this morning (Australian time). After reading the transcripts I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. All the rumours, statements and ideas about the new console have been set in stone, which is a good thing, but yet I wanted something more.

The Wiimote works like a charm, something I’ve been anticipating since I first saw the controller not so many months ago. I’m still quite skeptical about how well it works though. Does it lag? Will it tell the difference if I rotate it a quarter of a degree? How accurate is it enough to shoot at a villain that’s taking a hostage as cover? All questions will be answered when I actually get to use the system myself.

One thing that puts me off at the moment is the fact that it’s the same weight as a Nintendo DS which maybe because it has two double-A batteries in it. This may be a problem, I’ve tried swinging my DS around like a sword and after 5 seconds it started to get heavy. Maybe I’m weak (well I do sit in front of a computer 10hrs a day), or maybe it’s just a bit on the heavy side. The Nunchuk connector weighs the same as a cell phone, but that’s ok because al it does is sit in your left hand close to your body. Hopefully though, the weight issue will be fixed as it’s “still” in prototype form.

No longer a kiddies machine*wink wink*

Another interesting addition to the Wiimote is the little speaker that sits just below the palm. Why? Because Nintendo thought it would a better experience to have sound coming out of it as if you were actually holding a sword/gun/bat/knife/person/something. Imagine letting go of your bow to the sound of a light “twang”, or a loud “pop” when you press the gun trigger. Sounds very cool. Lets hope it doesn’t shorten the battery life to 2 hrs.

Virtual Debbie Does Dallas

One bizarre revelation was the Wii’s “normal” controller, where you would slot the Wiimote into this controller - so it would look like a dick and two testicles. But that’s not the disappointing part. I’m still trying to figure out why they went for the “Sony Dual Shock” layout (analogue sticks at the bottom) rather than the old Gamecube/xbox layout (left analogue stick on top of d-pad). Maybe I’m just bitching, because I’m used to pushing the stick forward, rather than an awkward tilt you will find on the Dual Shock layout. One thing is for sure though, the button colours look damn sexy.

The testicles. Kinda looks like a SUPER Super Nintendo Controller

One thing that really made the presentation über (if it weren’t for this it would’ve been severely disappointing) was the revelation of the new Zelda which will be available on the Wii’s launch day. I can’t express how excited I am. I could write on forever about the last Zelda hit, and how it was an experience of a lifetime (hmm, getting a bit geeky there).

Anyway yes. Nintendo keynote speech was ok. News about new Zelda was better.

Stephen has informed me that Sony just had its keynote speech at E3 about it’s PlayStation 3. Having just browsed the WWW about it, I can say that there’s something wrong with Sony. First of all, the system looks somewhat identical to the PlayStation 2. What happened to the suave silver/white look? At least they got rid of the boomerang controller (which looked like an double dildo from the future) though, but going back to the original Dual Shock design? It’s as if the controller designers were desperate and lazy so they resorted to a “if it ain’t broken, why fix it” philosophy, with this time slapping on a wireless function. I am severely disappointed.

PlayStation 3: Fugly.

What’s more is that, wait for it, they’ve added a gyroscopic feature! Which makes the controller a poor man’s Nintendo Wii contoller! I have no idea how this will work though. I can only see it being used for games that only allow you to tilt and rotate the controller from side to side, which is no where near the freedom you have with the Wiimote. Phil Harrison (white PlayStation boss) admits that the controller will also judge movement. Why? I don’t know. Will it judge the fact that I need to chuck a shit? I think not.

What’s more of a concern is that they’ve managed to separate the system into two packages (basic and premium) - like the xbox 360. I find this very disappointing and disheartening. It’s kinda like separating the rich from the poor, the skinny from the fat, the whores from the virgins. We already have discrimination among the gaming systems, we don’t need it among the system packages. “Ha ha, Roger! You bought the “shitty” pack because you’re a poor bastard…. and your mother’s fat and a whore”. What’s worse with the Sony packages is that the “shitty” package is priced at $800 (WTF), and has basically none of the cool stuff you would find in a next generation console, such as HD support, and all that swanky stuff like multimedia cards and WiFi. It still has a hard-drive though only 20gb. So it won’t store as much porn as the 60gb hard-drive you would find in the “mad” package (priced near 1k – WTF!!). What’s worse? You can’t upgrade the “shitty” package, so you’re screwed for life.

Ken Katuragi (Jap PlayStation boss): Tosser.

Sony also claims that its new disc technology Blu-Ray will be all the rage. Ha, yeah right, that’s what you said about the UMD format as well. I don’t know if they’ve got the right people working on their team, but back in the PSP development days, who was the stupid wanker who thought it was a good idea to develop a media system that not only quickly drained battery life but also a system that required you to purchase $30 movies to watch ONLY on a PSP? With that money I could’ve bought a DVD that can be used anywhere, or a carton of beer!

Speaking of beer, its beer-o-clock. Can’t believe I wasted time talking about Sony. *shudders*

Anyway, here’s a summary made by a Nintendo fanboy of the PlayStation 3 keynote speech at E3. Below are some lines that I found quite ROFL.

• 8:17 - Harrison blabs about some business speak, and introduces the creator of Grand Turismo, Yamuchi & translator. Nobody likes Harrison.

• 8:32 - Harrison introduces a card-based battle game, supposed to appear tomorrow at the show floor. Richard Marx, eyetoy creator takes the stage. “Eye of Judgement” developed in Japan, shown. You place cards in front of the camera, and you get to interact and move it around with your actual fingers. Imagine, Yu-Gi-Oh in real life, with monsters poppin’ out of them and everything.

• 9:33 - Ken takes the stage with his crazy English. He’s the most exciting person tonight, unfortunately. He has one more secret. “Back in 94, controller was quite unique., and everyone was amazed by its control in a 3D world. We are going to enhance its … ability. […] ” He’s planning on bringing it into the 4D world.

Final controller is just a wireless dual shock controller.

• 9:35 - After a small silence, he shows that they added a GYROSCOPIC CONTROL. The Internet’s nerds explode with anger.

• 9:41 - Harrison goes back to Kaz, and he explains how the PS3 ‘transcends imagination.’ Recaps everything that the PS3 can do: judge movement, play any media, steal ideas and cook meat.

If you haven’t heard of the endless new possibilities with Nintendo’s revolutionary machine Wii, particularly it’s new method of interaction, then take a geez at this article from the lovely folk at N-sider. The first page is a bit of a read about “verbs” in a gaming context, so just skip forward to the remaining pages.

What I find interesting is that you can hold the controller in any way that heightens the experience. One way would be to hold it like a gun for a first-person shooter, or like a sword slashing at the enemies on screen. You would look like a tool swinging something that looks like a remote but it would be more fun then just tapping a button. One of the more bizarre methods is to use it as if you were chopping vegetables (I hope they bring out a Jamie Oliver game or something so I can practice my cooking skills - Ladies watch out!)

One of the more intriguing ways of using the controller is the “throwing” action. Imagine you’re in a baseball game and it’s the bottom of the last inning, 3 balls, 2 strikes and all bases are loaded. This last pitch will be the decider of who takes the championship. You take a look at your fellow teammates as the crowd goes wild as you wind up for one last time. You’re at the pose just before you hurl the ball just like a real pitcher at a game except you’re in your living room in your boxer shorts. As you launch the ball like a speeding bullet, you scream in horror because as captivating as it sounds, not only have you thrown a fireball at the batter, but accidentally, the controller at your $10 000 now-broken Plasma screen as well.

So, I will graduating tomorrow with a degree in Digital Media. Should be a day of excitement and such, but I can’t help but feel a little gloomy. I don’t know why. I can’t put my finger on it. Perhaps it’s kind of like saying goodbye to being a “kid”. The final heave-ho before I enter the “big people” land of responsibilities and other creepies as such.

Maybe even perhaps because it’s kind of closing the door on the place that I loved going to every day during tertiary study – COFA. Unlike the bigness of the main campus (COFA is part of UNSW), it was a tight community where everyone (sorta) knew each other. I still don’t believe coffee boy Kly is married though, especially how he handles all the ladies so smoothly.

Hmm what will I miss? The army of Macs, that mighty fine finance chick, the smell you get when you walk into the labs, basking in the radiation of the computer monitors, the expensive (yet tasty) food at the tuck shop, Frankie the cat (is he dead or what, I’m lost), the legend of the COFA Dean, the hot girls in mini skirts that seem to come out only near the end of semester, the common room where countless pool and ping ping was played, having a beer down at 3 weeds, and of course, all the people I’ve become friends with and have become close to during my 3 years there.

Aww, it’s getting all touchy feely in here.

It’s been a week since Nintendo revealed the name of its latest console. If you’ve been living under a rock (I know I have, I only found out about the name in the last couple of days – thanks Stephen), Nintendo has revealed that its latest console the Revolution will now be officially named, wait for it – Wii.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m a big Nintendo fan and I’m still trying to come to terms with it. When I first saw it I didn’t know what to say either. “How the fuck do I pronounce this? WY? WY-FI?”. Nope my friends, it’s pronounced “We”.

I know what you’re thinking. It was the first thing that came to my mind as well.

Wee-wee.

ROFL! Now that that’s out of our system lets take a step back here. Why Nintendo why? Why make a name that sounds like something that comes out of your urethra? If you wanted a random name you could’ve had something like, “playbox”, “fun-machine”, “heebeejeebee”, or even “GameCube 2”. But Wii?

But like every good company that believes in its name, here’s the philosophy behind its name that I’ll recap for you:

* Wii is about “we” – not just gamers, but everyone. Nintendo’s new market is EVERYONE playing games. Even your grandmother (seriously)
* The double i’s represent people playing together
* The double i’s also represent the console’s unique remote-controller gizmo thing
* There’s something to do with Kanji that I can’t quite put my finger on, you can read more about it here
* The sound “We” permeates through many languages such as Oui Oui in French, which again enforces Nindendo’s idea of gaming pushing through borders (in this case international borders and language)

That’s it basically. There’s heaps more info here on the official site if you want to know more. Anyway games news portals exploded across the net ever since the “Wii” name came about – and most of it is hate.

Now I don’t know about you but I might actually be embarrassed to say its name in public. It’s ok among other gamers and l337 people, but to girls?

Johnny: Hey, watch where you’re going! I was gonna fall for you…
Cute-girl-with-mad-lips: Aww kekeke. Don’t worry I would’ve saved you *wink wink*
Johnny: Noyce! So what’s a girl like you doing here? Besides checking me out of course *wink*
Cute-girl-with-mad-lips: *winks* Oh you know shopping, hanging out with friends. I’m waiting for a friend. Ah, there she is!
Another-cute-girl: Hey lets go.
Cute-girl-with-mad-lips: Aight. Hey, do you wanna come to a party?
Johnny: Really? Noyce! Sure! After I drop this thing off at home
Cute-girl-with-mad-lips: Haha ok, what is it?
Johnny: Um, it’s… uh… a Nintendo… uh…. Wii.
Cute-girl-with-mad-lips: …Err ok. Oh you know what? Forget about the party *hurries off*

Hmm, imagine the Scotts though!

Woman-with-scottish-accent: When I was a Wii lass….

Anyway some people have been writing that the name is genius and that the Marketing department will soon be kings of the world for coming up with such a “unique” and “meaningful” name. Graphically, the logo/brand looks very hot. But the way it sounds? Hmm. It’ll take some time getting used to. Though I’m sure the confusion in pronouncing its name will have some affect in its marketing strength. Anything that confuses people, no matter how small, will have some kind of negative influence.

Very simple, clean and swanky. I like it.

But, and this is a big but, weird names DO have a history of being stuck in the back of people’s minds. Everyone knows annoying songs have the power of being countlessly replayed in the head (something called “Annoyance Theory” or something). And What about weird names that have graced successful products and services? Like Google and Yahoo? That maybe what Nintendo is aiming for with this name. To throw at people a name that will have everyone talking, which in turn will help make the spotlight on the console much brighter.

And like the saying goes, “Any publicity is good publicity”

(I think that’s how it goes)